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| Chris-zilla
Terrorizes Tokyo
Millions Flee in Fear
Chris-zilla struck Tokyo again today. "Me
hungry!" he roared. He stomped a wide swath of buildings on
his way toward the famed Asahi Beer Hall, where he spied the
equally famous "Big Turd-Like Thingy" atop the Asahi
Beer Hall. Mistaking it for a giant radioactive parsnip, Chris-zilla
consumed the landmark sculpture in a single gulp, celebrating it
with an ear-shattering belch registering an impressive 4.3 on the
Richter scale.
When last seen Chris-zilla was trying to hide behind Mt. Fuji to
avoid a confrontation with Asahi's Vice President of Corporate
Security, Godzilla! After repeated phone calls, Asahi's
Chief Decorative Officer had this to say about the Big Turd-Like
Thingy: "We have been assured by our foofy French architect
that this beautiful sculpture represents the flame of triumph. It
only had to be turned on it's side, turd-like, due to a minor
violation of building codes." Despite repeated follow-up
questions, the CDO refused to comment on any minor or major
violations of basic international standards of good taste.
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